Ok here goes and I am a confusing and very confused person, my memory of childhood comes in flashes and sometimes bangs!
I dislike my Mother, when she died I did not cry, I could not, I did not love her, I did not like her, I did not care if she was alive or dead. When I was 23 I left and never looked back, never contacted her again. She passed a few years ago and now I am having nightmares and memories of some, or a lot of the abuse. What or who has triggered these memories is a mystery to me but it is getting difficult to endure. The nightmares are like reliving the actual incident of abuse.
My Father and my Grandmother apologized to me a couple of years ago in front of my husband completly out of the blue for letting me go through the abuse and the times of starvation, and being locked out for hours in over 100 degree weather. For the beatings and the mental abuse. They completely knocked me for a loop.
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