When I was around 14 the docs played around with the idea I was an MPD.
I have said before I have flash bangs of memory of my life. Other than that it is all a blank. Well my nightmares are not flash bangs and I realize I have the same ones repeatedly even as I am having them.
The big white house with the hidden room is the most common one. There are stairs going every where twisty, winding, lots of horrible rooms,tons of scary hallways, but always I am looking for the little small panel just big enough for me. The piece of wall that I know if I push on I can go into the dusty room with the bed and the books, the one that isn't scary at all. the one that I can lay on the mattress and hold the baby, and just read, and read, and no-one will ever find me because they cant find that little piece of wall and they can't fit in.
Sometimes I am adult looking at houses to buy and there is the house just right there , I am suddenly sucked into it. Sometimes I am living in a neighboorhood at an undetermined age and go exploring and find myself running through the halls of the house looking for the safe place. The house shows up a lot .Lately it comes more and more. I am not tired but my body will lie down and I will sleep for hours and hours and I will go to the white house room.
This scares me terribly.
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